I quit mom blogs today.

Goodbye.

For longer than I’d like to admit, I’ve had a folder on my Google Reader named “mom blogs” where pictures of cupcakes, strollers, and babies dominated. As a result, I’ve also helped (a little) in making these blogs a success.

I still can’t really articulate what I find so fascinating about these women. Most of the time, I did not find myself relating to their lives at all, and I’m pretty sure I don’t share the same political views as these women. Maybe it’s because their lives seemed so simple, so pretty (and full of pretty things), and so absent of conflict or  turmoil that I found it incomprehensible yet intriguing. And those pictures of babies are pretty cute too, though the thought of becoming a mother myself is still a bit terrifying.

In sum: certain popular “mom” blogs had become a bit of an embarrassing guilty pleasure / “hate-read” that my friends and loved ones liked to gently mock. Sometimes I’d go into a phase where I got too busy or too weirded out so I’d stop checking them. But they still remained in my Reader.

But today, I deleted the “mom blog” category from my Reader altogether, and I’m here to tell you about my embarrassing habit.

I always felt uneasy, being someone who identifies as a feminist, to read about something that can only be described as heightened performance of traditional femininity (the smiling babies, adoring looks to husbands, dresses, cupcakes, etc). Thankfully, I found out a while ago I was not the only feminist-identified person who reads these blogs (which made me feel okay about my dirty habit). But recently, my unease got to a new level when I recently watched a strange “sponsored video” that a very famous mom blogger made, featuring her baby holding ridiculous instruction signs like “MIX INGREDIENTS TOGETHER” with a smile.

Sure, I’ve seen more blatant signs of capitalism before; I’m not naive. But somehow, this particular video just rubbed me the wrong way. I understand a baby’s cuteness has indirectly led to making money for the blog and attracting sponsors. But implicating an infant so blatantly into a directly sponsored content without his or her real consent or cognizance was really jarring.  On the scale of parents exploiting their children, this incident does not place very highly, but it was still a trigger that made me reflect on this habit of mine. I started thinking about the concept of the “mom blog economy” where I, as a reader, am making these women money by clicking and subscribing to the updates of their highly traditional, feminized, and very materialistic lifestyle.

I don’t mean to paint the category of “mom blogs” with broad strokes. There are blogs written by mothers that are more thoughtful and politically engaged, and offer honest reflections and hardships of being a working parent. While I had read the aforementioned progressive mom blogs occasionally, they were not read as frequently as the other ones with pretty pictures.

The emblematic of “mom blogs” are not the ones with words and nuance, but rather, pretty pictures by (white) rich people. This is not an original insight and I am certainly not the first one to raise the privileged nature of successful bloggers, but it’s something I have become complicit in as a reader, despite my justification of my habits as “ironic” or “guilty pleasures” or whatever else I said to other people.

The loss of one subscriber will mean nothing to such a popular blogs. And I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, because I don’t think what I said would affect these popular bloggers in any way.Instead, someone will inevitably say to me: “calm down, these are just blogs! If you don’t like what you read, just don’t read it”. And that’s exactly it — these are just blogs, and I should spend my precious time and energy on other things that make me feel less guilty, and more fulfilled.

Thinking and writing about activism

It’s been a busy couple of weeks – so I thought I’d share a copule of things I’d written outside of this blog.

I’ve been doing an internship at the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network, as a part of McGill Law Faculty’s Human Rights Internship program. It’s been an eye-opening experience in many ways – I recapped my first couple of weeks for the McGill Human Rights Interns blog.

Vancouver Observer re-published an edited version of a blog post I wrote about Bill 78 and the Quebec student movement this week. 

Feminist Fashion Bloggers Guest Post: Claire of My Illustrative Life

As part of the Feminist Fashion Bloggers network, I am participating in the guest blogging challenge. Today’s post is brought to you by the lovely Claire of My Illustrative Life (where you will find my musings on being a feminist fashion blogger).

Having read Rosel’s post before thinking about what to write, I decided to just riff off her themes.

It’s interesting how many fashion bloggers (or bloggers who cover fashion) I know who did the opposite of identify with the fashion people during their teens. And who have spent a big chunk of their lives thinking that fashion was for the frivolous, that to be interested in looks and sartorial experimentation was to be guilty. Myself included, of course.

I spent a lot of time thinking that fashion meant “prescriptive” and that talking about fashion meant judging people by the rules of the moment. That’s what it seemed to mean at school, and in fashion magazines, and on fashion television. I spent a lot of time thinking that feminism wasn’t something we needed any more, but also thinking that girls, in general, were annoying. There are pros and cons to all-girls schooling, what can I say.

Fashion blogging didn’t make me accept feminism (this did) but it did do about sixty-five percent of the work in showing me that “female space” is not synonymous with “oh my goodness, oh my goodness, where is the door, I really really need to leave now”.

I think it’s interesting and maybe poignant that fashion blogging – easily and commonly enough categorised as self-indulgent, self-involved silly, shallow and pointless – has so much helped me (I am sure I am not alone) to unpack the assumptions and grudges that had built up behind my eyes – the kind that make a person a angry web of internalised sexism and contribute to the bigger, crueler gender-based societal problems that the ‘<i>serious</i>’ news blogs and feminist blogs cover.

Feminism, exploring feminism and other anti-kyriarchy policies, have made me a better clothes-wearer. I think more about why I like what I do, how I can wear things to say things, what I have the right or responsibility to wear and not wear.

Rosel said this, in her guest post over at my place:

“Which brings me to the point of why being part of the feminist fashion bloggers has been so valuable for me. FFB reminds me that blogging can be diverse with enormous potential for discussion and subversion.”

I think it’s interesting that blogging needs to do what it does.

Blogging has a lot of different purposes but I think that one of the most valuable things it does is take people seriously. It’s strange how writing essays or diary entries to an audience of potentially none, potentially hundred-thousand-millions is the same as listening. Just by having similar – or similarly non-mainstream -views, and putting them on e-paper we’re all validating each other and saying “yes, it’s OK, you’re not the only one who isn’t satisfied”. But don’t you think it’s silly that we feel like we need that?

To practise feminist fashion blogging is to practise a very small scale version of intersectionality. It’s a helpful model of behaviour.

Links Roundup: Asian heritage month, feminist events, and more

As some of you may know, May is Asian Heritage Month – and boy, does Montreal have a good lineup of events to celebrate Asian heritage. I spent the weekend attending Accès Asie festival events – including the opening reception and the ‘Flavours of India’ workshop where I learned how to make chai tea. You can read my preview piece for Schema here – and reviews of the events I mentioned will be up on the site shortly.

I also had the pleasure of attending the Montreal book launch of Jessica Yee’s book Feminism for Real, where proceeds went to the Native Women’s Shelter of Montreal (sidenote: the “Harper government” managed to cut their funding, so they are in need of donations). The book is a powerful read and a provocative challenge on mainstream feminism today, and I recommend it to anyone who thinks of him/herself as an activist.

The McGill Graduate Group for Feminist Scholarship, a group I led during my time at McGill, is hosting its annual graduate symposium “(Dis)embodied Feminisms” this weekend at Thomson House. This year’s keynote speaker is the lovely Amber Hawk Swanson, performance artist extraordinaire. I’m also chairing a panel called “Bodies in Motion” on Saturday afternoon – I encourage you to come by if you’re in the mood for thoughtful and feminist cultural discussion.

This fashion column by Toronto’s Sarah Nicole Prickett examines fashion’s continued exoticization of non-Western cultures.

Ken Jeong, the funniest doctor I know of today (he plays Ben Chang on the NBC hit show Community), wrote this touching dedication to his cancer-survivor wife, Tran.

Last but not least, my friends have decided to become urban farmers and grow some organic vegetables this summer. You can follow their adventures here.

Protected: On the anonymity of the fashion blogosphere

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Why feminist blogging? (and what’s next?)

[In March, I was invited to participate in Kickaction.ca's blogging carnival, on the topic of "women, art and technology. Here is what I wrote, which appeared on Kickaction in the last week of March.]

A few months ago, I was sitting at The Main, eating potato latkes at a time when I should’ve been in bed instead. The night wound down as I discussed my tentative idea about how great it would be to have a weekly Q&A with women artists with my late-night dining companion. Fortunately for me, she also happened to be a pretty good poet, and so the “Women In Art” series for Kickaction was born.

I wasn’t sure how long the series could last, or how many women artists I could find. But each woman artist I talked to was generous enough to provide me with names of other women writers/ musicians/artists/filmmakers. Four months later, the series is still going strong. Running the series taught me the obvious fact that there are so many talented women artists who don’t get enough press. It also reinforced my belief that there is no singular “version” of a woman artist – each woman’s art and vision is unique. My ultimate goal for the series is to show the diversity of women artists out there, while also engaging future women artists in a meaningful conversation. This also mirrors my belief that logging and feminism go hand-in-hand, in the way that both are versatile concepts that encourage plurality and conversation.

To me, feminism is not about imposing an enforced “sisterhood” about one unified cause. Doing so would be to erase the diversity of experiences and backgrounds in women. I find more and more nostalgia about second-wave feminism, and how “unified” and focused it was. Of course, that was possible due to the fact that much of second-wave feminism was restricted to the singular identity of a middle-class, white, cisgendered and heterosexual woman. While I may share the heterosexuality and the middle-class background of second-wave feminists, my non-white status also means I have different concerns when it comes to my politics. Other feminists also have different set of priorities than I do, as they may be queer, trans, and come from different class and cultural backgrounds than mine.

With increasing pressure to capture the viewer or the reader’s attention in this world of information overload, the mainstream media can only represent the complex and intersectional feminist identities in simplistic ways that fit into a soundbite. But blogging doesn’t have to. The feminist bloggers I know and read debate, discuss, and disagree with each other on a variety of issues. Blogging also encourages reader participation and collaboration in a way that newspapers or television do not, where the public has the potential to reshape the discussion. Feminist and anti-racist blogs like Racialicious, Feministing, Bitch Blogs, and Colorlines cover news items and topics that are often ignored in the mainstream media. It was through Colorlines and Racialicious that I found frank discussion on sex lives of women of colour (Racialicious’ “Love, Anonymously” series), as well as living as a plus-sizd woman (Bitch Blog’s “Sex and the Fat Girl” series), or thoughtful analyses of popular cultural symbols that promote white supremacy, heteronormativity and passivity for women. It is through these blogs that I learned how to apply the theoretical knowledge of my feminist education in real life.

Of course, blogging has its challenges too. It can become competitive and degenerate into a
high school-like popularity contest in its race to gain more followers and comments. Sometimes,
disagreements can turn into downright ugly fights. In one rather infamous in the blogosphere,
when Megan Carpentier of Jezebel, when she criticized the Guardian article “I’m not a feminist (and there is no but)” by Renee Martin of Womanist Musings, the comments quickly became a blame game without critically engaging in the heavily white bias of mainstream feminism (which was the point of Martin’s piece in the first place).

There is still the dicey subject of blogging largely being a labour of love. Although some bloggers have successfully turned their blogging into a business, these are usually apolitical – a.k.a. “lifestyle” – bloggers. It’s damn hard to make a living as a writer in the first place, and trying to make a living being a feminist/anti-racist blogger is still fairly impossible, unless you hold a day job. This also raises the question of whether blogs can have a real, measurable impact, or how voices of dissent in the blogosphere can transform themselves into real political change. I’m not raising these concerns because I have real answers, but because I believe they are important concerns for feminist bloggers to keep in mind.

So what’s next for feminist bloggers? How can feminist blogs secure the support – emotional and financial – they need? Should feminist blogging be more professionalized? Let me know what you think.

[image from Gender Focus]

Blog spotlight: Aeri’s Kitchen

I’ve been craving Korean food lately; the salty, spicy and fermented flavours of Korea are pretty hard to find in other cuisines. For newcomers, cooking Korean can seem a little bit daunting – luckily, the internet is a great resource, and I have found my Korean cooking satisfaction in Aeri’s Kitchen. Aeri Lee is a Korean expat living in the U.S., and her blog has thorough instructions on how to make just about any Korean food you can think of, including kimchi, Korean fried rice, and signature soups like Ssundubu (soft tofu stew). Thanks to her picture-accompanied how-tos, I’ve successfully satisfied my craving, and even had the pleasure of re-introducing my friends to Korean food after their stays in Korea.

The proof of my burgeoning culinary skills.

Because I’m terrible at photo-documenting, this grainy cell phone photo is the sole evidence of the aforementioned feast that included a sweet corn salad, spicy chicken bokkeumtang, along with some of my mother’s kalbi and pork bulgogi. Deliciousness (and spiciness) all around.

FFB Post 5: What I’ve learned

bell hooks

In early 2011, I found myself with two seemingly incompatible internet browser tabs: one of The Sartorialist, and the other, “Postmodern Blackness” by bell hooks. This was a pretty accurate portrait of my conflicting desire to click through hundreds of outfit photos on internet style blogs (and my penchant for clothes) and read feminist texts. I guess other people were too, because soon after, I found Feminist Fashion Bloggers. It has been wonderful to discuss our corporeal realities of stepping outside into the world full of contradictory messages about dress that both empower and undermine women, and of course, learning about so many cool feminist/fashion icons from all over the world. Participating in the Feminist Fashion Bloggers challenges taught me the value of praxis – how theory is embodied or realized. It gave me hope that fashion blogging as a form can be just more than consumerism.

But during my exploration of feminism and fashion, I’ve also learned that it’s pretty darn hard to practice what you preach. For example, I just learned that Target, known for their anti-gay activities in the past, is still doing some questionable homophobic activities by suing a gay marriage activist group to stay off Target grounds. And yet, none of the fashion blogs I read has mentioned this. And I know that a popular item that is “going around” the fashion blogosphere is the Tucker for Target dress (featured in Academichic and What Would a Nerd Wear, among others). What disappoints me about this is that the two blogs I mentioned parenthetically are written by socially active academics, and Academichic bloggers identify explicitly as LGBTQ activists and allies of LGBTQ rights. Before I found out about Target’s donation practices, I once wished that Target stores would open up in Canada (expressed in a recent Q&A I did over here), so I’m not exactly an innocent party, either.

What to make of this disconnect? While I am disappointed the lack of commentary from the academic fashion blogging community, I also don’t want to condemn them too harshly – because in a capitalist framework, having a choice (to say no to unethically produced goods) always comes with privilege. The ability to be a more politically and socially conscious person must come with the material means to pay extra dollars for organic, fair-trade goods, and I know that it’s impossible to be 100% ethical in our purchases. I despise this reality, but I think it’s important to acknowledge it. The unfortunate correlation between choice and privilege is also why I don’t like it when people get overly self-righteous about how everyone should live and say things like: “everyone can buy fair-trade things if they try.” No, they can’t. Some people struggle to put decent food and clean clothes on them and their families, let alone have time to think about where they came from.

Feminist Fashion Icons collage by Franca

This difficulty is just another part of praxis – that we are not disembodied, abstract beings only existing in language (although being on the internet sometimes feels that way), but human beings with bills to pay, and a less-than-enough shopping budget. These imperfections are a part of a feminist reality, and I don’t want to ignore them. So I would like to start talking about these limitations honestly, and think about ways to create not only responsible consumers, but also responsible manufacturers (without needing privileged access). I have no answers on how this can actually be done, but I think I can at least urge style bloggers to become more aware of corporations’ practices outside of the shopping area. Because some of us style bloggers are big enough to actually influence the consumer market out there, and because it’s about time that we feminists started thinking about empowerment in more ways than just averting the male gaze, or becoming one enlightened human being at the expense of others.

[image of bell hooks from Wikipedia; Feminist Fashion Icons collage from Oranges and Apples]

Links Roundup: Japan, feminist blogging, and scholarships only for white men!

My thoughts go out to those in Japan affected by the earthquake and the tsunami. Google has responded with the Person Finder app, which would hopefully aid in the recovery. This footage of the tsunami literally sweeping through Kesennuma City is terrifying.

In this week’s WTF news: a Texas man has decided to establish a white male-only scholarship, because he “felt excluded. If everyone else can find scholarships, why are we left out?” Um, because scholarships that are not specifically dedicated to minority identities usually go to white men?

The Feminist Fashion Bloggers network now has a “home” blog page! See this week’s group post round-up here.

The Kickaction blogging carnival will feature daily blog posts written by writers from all over Canada, discussing women’s issues from various angles. It kicked off on Tuesday (International Women’s Day), and will continue throughout March. Check it out, and join the discussion!

I was interviewed by Concordia University student newspaper, The Link, to promote the Kickaction blogging carnival. I answered questions about why feminist blogging is important, and why I blog – you can find the article here.

Edited to add: Amérasia Festival closes this weekend! I’ve reviewed films and events for Schema Magazine, if you’re curious.

Links Friday – Ask an Abortion Provider, Feminist Fashion Bloggers & Amérasia Film Fest

Here’s frank, funny and compelling account of a female abortion provider, answering questions about her job and the the motivations behind her career choice.

Of Another Fashion is a blog chronicling the fashion histories of women of colour in the U.S. Yes, it’s as awesome as it sounds.

Montreal cinema lovers: Ciné-Asie’s Amérasia Film Festival showcases 20+ great films from directors of Asian descent. I will be covering the event and reviewing films for Schema Magazine. Come out if you can, or read all about it online.

The Feminist Fashion Bloggers had their first group post event on March 2, where each blogger answered the question, “who is your feminist fashion icon?” The links roundup of everyone’s answers – including mine, if you haven’t yet – is here.

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